💍Bone of Contention: Marriage, Strife, & Entrepreneurs

The first time my husband wanted to start a business, early on in our marriage, he came to me with such exasperation to share his convictions. “I want to quit my job and start my own gym business” he started. “I’ve felt a calling to do this my entire adult life. I have been playing it safe working for someone else and it’s soul-crushing. I can not take it anymore!” He finally confessed. All I could do was stare at him in disbelief. I felt side-swiped. This was my moment to support and encourage him. Get excited alongside him. At least thank him for being honest about how he felt. Say something nice… anything nice... I did none of those things.

As an entrepreneur, you have probably noticed the disconnect between your ambitions and your spouse's enthusiasm for them. This gets misinterpreted to such a damaging effect that it immediately gets the marriage and the business off on the wrong foot.

Everyone knows the sad statistic of the divorce rate being almost 50%. But, you may be surprised to know that business owners and entrepreneurs are higher than any other group, besides interracial relationships, for the highest likelihood of divorce. I speculate that some of the reasons are: the spouse's reluctance breeds too much resentment, the business takes up all the attention, or the business owner takes on too much risk without properly communicating it with their significant other. I can tell you from experience that when our relationship was lacking it was typically the result of failing in one or more of these 3 areas: being patient with one another, prioritizing quality time together, and/or communicating well. But, when you get these three things right, the relationship AND the business get easier! When you are in a healthy supporting relationship, you can think more clearly, take on more calculated risks, feel more poised under pressure, have an added sense of confidence, and bonus - you’ll get a cheerleader in your corner along the way! Wouldn’t it be easier to have a cheerleader in your corner than another adversary moving the bar further away?

Why do you always have to shit on my dreams?